Cristina Paynes

The weather is changing and I’ve been a bit more tired and anxious. This past week has been fun and everything leading up to it was perfect. Now, I’ve found myself at the place I didn’t want to be. Without money to play with. The good thing is I’m not struggling. I have been blessed with my children and my husband. I couldn’t ask for anyone else. They are all perfectly imperfect and I can totally live with that. Even though I know this, I’m still finding it hard to just do anything. Because I’m SO tired. The want isn’t there anymore. The sunshine doesn’t get me excited anymore. I’ve grown tired of being here, but this is why I say the weather is changing.

It’s around this time that I feel a bit more dramatic as if I cannot live any longer. Of course, I don’t believe that I would ever end my life. It’s just a feeling. My mind goes on weird rants like this almost always. I figured I’d use my site to write and express what I feel, think, and process. Hopefully, I can commit to one entry per day. Especially when I’m full of it. Thoughts that is. I hope my writing develops into something meaningful over the next few weeks. Right now, this is shit. I know, but I gotta start somewhere.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

-CP